The Guide review! (updatered)
First, I will get on with pointing out the flaws, followed by wallowing in the geekiness of the film, then, instead of ranting at things that are not The Hitchhiker's Guide but need a good ranting at anyway, I shall rave about something else. Oh yes, and all of this is spoiler free.
The Bad.
Imagine a porno movie whose characters, at the absolute edge of orgasm, would suddenly stop and discuss the merits of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. That is what the addition of the love story feels like.
The Good.
The Guide.
Ford.
Marvin.
The Improbability Drive (so help me, if Disney stops the movies before they get to the Bistromath, I'll ditch this lousy two-bit rock.)
The jeweled scuttling crabs of Vogsphere.
Vogsphere.
Vomit.
The Guide.
Slartibartfast.
The Factory Floor (the shock of vertigo could kill a man!)
The nods to the TV series.
The nods to the radio series (bring 3D glasses if you can)
The nods to His other works.
The Guide.
related yowelings
My God, I have a Star Wars.
Given the two previous Star Wars movies, this may not seem a compliment. But you have to realize that, for me, a body of work can span books, radio, television, theater, and yet never attain the sort of level that a movie brings with it. Movies are inherently a religious experience, because somewhere deep, deep in your head, all those projections of light onto that screen are very, very, real. The religious aspect is increased exponentially when you're doing all this at midnight with a crowd who also have towels hung around their necks. Or stuffed in satchels. Or hanging out of hoodie pockets. Or wrapped around purse straps.
When you yourself engage in these sorts of activities, this unspoken bonding occurs. Doesn't matter how good or bad the film is, you're all here to cheer and laugh and cry at it. The sheer force of will of those assembled insure that it is going to be awesome whether it wants to be or not. Watching it in most any other situation will usually give you a clear, level-headed view of the film, and only stuffy newspaper reviewers want that.
It occurs to me that this incoherent rambling seques neatly into the line "I'd far rather be happy than right anyday." Take it as you will.
