Internet Dragons and You: A Field Guide

I have always liked dragons. They represent to me the mystic parallel to science, the murky depths beyond human understanding, and the magnificence and danger of the unknown. Lately though, I have come to an important realization: dragons are also jerks.

Now I play a lot of World of Warcraft, and I know the lore behind their dragons better than... the American Civil War, pretty much. So come with me, won't you, as we explore this topic in the first part of an ongoing series that will bore anyone to tears who doesn't slavishly play the game. First stop,

The Blue Dragonflight

Creatures of ice and water, often found in cold regions and preferring to keep to themselves. They are studious, enjoying both literature and scholarly texts, and study any bit of knowledge or trivia that they come across.
-from The Warcraft Manual of Monsters, via WoWWiki

Base of operations: Mazthoril, Winterspring
Official Alignment: Good

Inactive for the most part in the worldly goings-on, this 'flight has a unique and surprising propensity for being slain and brought back as undead monstrosities. The first zombie frostwyrm you encounter, Sapphiron, was raised by one of the most powerful beings in the world, so you would assume that this is a difficult and rare thing to do. Then you find out that any damn fool with time on their hands and a dirty chunk of bone can do it on a weekly basis. Then you start avoiding dragon graveyards on the offchance an errant sniffle starts a small frostwyrm stampede.

Notable Members
Malygos
aka The Spell-weaver
Aspect of the Blue Dragonflight. Last seen moping around in a cave up north.

Azuregos
aka The Keeper of the Blue Shard
A dragon of rare and exquisite irritation. Tasked with guarding a shard of the Scepter of the Shifting Sands (an ancient and powerful item that locked up an even more ancient and powerful evil), he decides that protecting the world is too much work for him and so chucks the thing into the sea. (The shard, not the world.) Because of this, you have to collect a pile of rare metals, goggles, rocket fuel, a 500-pound chicken, 8 chapters of a book on how to read draconic; and fight legions of firedogs, angry fish, chimaera, and gnomish supervillains to get it back. The upside? After you're done, you can kill him and jack his stuff.

Haleh
aka Matron Protectorate
aka The Crazy Bitch On The Roof
Occasionally, you may find yourself in need of contacting this 'flight in regards to a local problem like impending doom or unfathomable evil. Haleh is the solitary elder that is willing to discourse with lowly mortals such as yourself on these matters. She is found at Mazthoril, which is a gigantic ice cave. She is not in this cave, deigning to stand on top of it instead. Getting to her requires travelling to the bottom of the cave and taking a teleport rune up, as opposed to some crazy setup like putting the rune out front or just building some stairs.

Did I mention that the cave is packed full of angry blue dragons? Yeah. The 'flight that's willing to help you destroy one of their greatest enemies is also willing to claw your face off when you come to get that help. And when you finally stand before her, cold and sweaty and bruised, half the time she will punt you across the ocean as her way of assisting you. Truly the draconic equivalent of the snobby receptionist who puts you on hold and then hangs up, and then barricades the door, and then sets the building on fire.

Tyrygosa
aka Tyri
Also known as The Princess of the Blue Dragonflight, which is weird because there's no actual king, and if "princess" is defined as "young female offspring of the leader" then there's definitely more than just the one running about. Her latest endeavor involved dealing with the Netherwing, a new kind of dragon. They are inherently distrustful of outsiders, so what does she do? She kidnaps their young and slays one of their leaders. Her reasons for this, and I quote, are to "prevent them from falling under the sway of a malevolent power, [and] keep them in check all the while." Eventually, the benevolent leaders of the Netherwing will hear of this atrocity, seek out the proper channels to present their case, and be dropkicked over a large body of water for the effort.


And that's it for my brain. Tune in next... indetermineable time period when we take a look at the Bronze dragonflight.