I Am A God. Please Refrain From Worship

Let it be known that Moof Kenubi has been officially granted the position of Specialist God by the Powers That Be, thereby amending his title to that of Mediumlord Rev. Moof H. "Batman" Kenubi, The One True God of Can and Jar Openings (hereafter known as "Moof").

His particular domain is that of the safe and painless unimpediment of foodstuff containers and similar items. Miracles related or pertaining to this field may be prayed for in the name of Moof, and will be attended to in the order received. The Powers That Be would like to remind you that prayer via mortal communication channels (ie email, telephone, psychic waves) do not count.

Worship of Moof may be conducted by refraining to worship. Followers are recommended to differentiate their times of worship from other times by stating aloud "I am not worshiping Mediumlord Rev. Moof H. "Batman" Kenubi, The One True God of Can and Jar Openings" repeatedly when they are not worshiping Him. Followers may recruit others into the religion by not telling them about Him, thereby greatly increasing the number of believers.

The edicts of any religion which preclude the existence of extraneous deities are hereby repealed in regards to Moof and His area of expertise. Recognition of Him by the opposing religion(s) is/are not required and they may continue their faith in all other areas. Failure to peaceably co-exist with Him will result in termination of useful services for the offending religion.

Any and all belief in non-related deific capabilities such as healing touches, non-linear reality alterations, or omniscience vesting within Moof are hereby considered null and void until such a time that He decides that He can get away with laying claim to such abilities for any good amount of time.

Thank you, and I look forward to being your god for the year of 2008.