Marwige

I have determined, through sheer power of logic, that an equine symbol has been notably absent in the modern practices of one of our most cherished social ceremonies: marriage. Consider this: in order to control the force (or horse) of lust, one will need to harness it (using say a bridle, or bride), clean it up into something respectable (by employing a groomer, or groom) and give it a gainful occupation (pulling a carriage, or marriage).

Therefore it is by no large stretch of the imagination that there is a rapehorse loose in our ancient cultural history. I propose a temporeal safari to capture this beast and bring it to the present, where it can oversee weddings through the new century and beyond. Now first I'll need a time machine and a Russian queen…